So my heart was broken last night.

Yeah ok I am not proud of it, it happens too often to me, but it's a blog right? I can write about whatever I want.

It's really my fault for letting my heart get broken- I really should have known better. But boy, it hurt. And of course, I remedied the situation by drinking and going to Union Jack's with the brother. Why did I let it happen though? I should have not fallen for him, and once again I did, but gah, he just needs to leave already. And then the bouncer (who's in love with me) didn't help so much by telling me things that made me feel worse in my poor decision to fall for this guy.

But I guess that's my thing, falling for the wrong guys. But I am so over this. When's it my turn to find a right guy? I don't need to find THE right guy, I am only 22, but it scares me because at this age I haven't had one single meaningful relationship, and how am I supposed to know when the right guy actually comes along? Will I know something good when it actually comes along?

It's all very confusing and frustrating and I'm really not sure where to go from here. There's one interest, but I am completely clueless on how to go about pursuing this one. Why can't I be pursued once in a while? That would feel so good...

Anyways, there's around 50 something days left in this semester. Which leaves one more full semester of my undergraduate career here at American. And, I have to say, I'm beginning to get very nostalgic and beginning to miss it all.

I'm one of those people who truly believes everything happens for a reason. People come in and out of our lives, and some stay around for a reason. There's a huge reason he's in my life.

We met through a mutual friend at the beginning of sophomore year, and in the beginning he was his pompous self, but I challenged him, and we hit it off. And he's been a fixture in my life ever since. There's a deep bond that can't be broken by anything. Not me wigging out on him or him disappearing for weeks. I know I can call him or IM him and eventually reach him. And he'll be there for me. Like he was last night. He can always make me laugh, and we always have a good time together.

We're both at pretty confusting stages in our lives. I'm getting ready to apply to law schools, with my #1 choice being thousands of miles away in Miami, and he will be here. He's looking for a job and dealing with life after college. And both of us have the problem of ultimately being too nice, even in our mean, selfish moments.

Sometimes I wonder if there could ever be anything between him and I. Not because I'm attracted to him or have a crush on him. It's more that there's already such a great relationship between the 2 of us, I wonder if it would be even better if we got together and had the romance part there as well. I think we'd be good for each other, but who really knows. Guess I shouldn't really dwell on it.

I should just focus on myself and Law School. This whole application process is bad deja vu from applying to undergrad. I can't believe I'm getting my scores back tomorrow....