I'm sitting here, thinking a lot as I wait for my dad to be done with his conference call. Yes I am just that cool.
I'm ready for so much more. I feel like I am ready to be responsible. More so than I have been in 2 years of college. I better be ready. This year I am taking on the burden of paying bills and rent, and a babysitting job four times a week, plus probably some weekend babysitting jobs every now and then. That alone will make me really be responsible, I hope.
I don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling. I'm feeling like I'm very ready to have a meaningful relationship with a guy. I'm not talking marriage, just meaningful. Unlike anything I've had up to this point. Hell, I've never been on a real date in my life. I have to say, though, that things are looking up in this department. This guy, I think things will work out when we finally meet. While we have not officially met- as in we have not met in person- we learn more about each other every time we speak. He's a gentleman, and he's not a college guy- he calls when he says he will! Haha but seriously, I enjoy speaking to him, he makes me laugh, he's super nice, and he just seems like an all-around great guy. Unfortunately we won't be back in DC at the same time until September 5th, so I am counting down the days until then. I really think he could be a good thing for me. It's the type of thing I need- I won't see him every day, won't be able to talk to him all day, and I won't be able to expect these things from him. Which is the type of relationship I think I need. One where when we see each other it's real special and where he looks forward to seeing me and we go out and do things together.
I need to stop talking about this or it will never happen.
My self-control is getting much better. I lost it for the past 2 weeks but I'm back on top of it. Just need to get myself to start going to the gym again too. We're looking at a outlook-on-life-overhaul I think. Perhaps even becoming a little more feminine. But it had to happen eventually. I have to thank my mom and dad for not pushing me to be something I wasn't, because as a result I feel I am turning into a very classy woman. At least I like to think I am.
Back to DC a week from tomorrow. Classes begin in 17 days. Scary to think it's my junior year. That I've changed so much in 2 years. I hope college has the positive effect on my sister as it has had on me. I really hope she doesn't mess up down in Florida. Mom and dad are real worried. They say I was ready for college, and that she isn't. Needless to say, they will be keeping a tight eye on her this first semester.
Don't know what else to say. I'm ready to be back in DC. For life to begin again there.
